Holiday wish...

Merry Christmas everyone!

Underwear

These last few weeks have been crazy.
Trying to figure out where i fit in the RN world, how to do this job, can i do this job, am i insane?
Trying to figure out why the good die young.  I have come to no logical explanation for this other than some just seem to accomplish so much in their short time that in order for us all to learn from them they must leave us early so we can grow more.- but who knows.
Trying to figure out how to be with someone.  We all know this is utterly foreign to me.  like learning how to be Left handed when i'm a Righty.  But i've learned that like all things, i need to enjoy the ride instead of trying to figure it out.
Trying to learn how to be a good mother.  This, of course, is ongoing education.

I've been blessed with some of the most amazing people to call my friends and family.  So, with recent events i called someone who i knew would give it to me straight, no matter what, and that it would be honest, not just what i needed to hear.  Funny thing about that.. i've decided whats honest is usually what people need hear.- funny how that works.
So, this wise, funny, caring, loving, and wanting nothing but the best out of me person told me- "Look at yourself.  Are you doing what you are expecting of others."  (damn him for being right….)
So after this good talk (and some tunes & pinterest of course), i've come up with some insights on how i can portray the things i expect from others.
Im taking a good look at myself and going to TRY (mind you… i am not perfect, and i'm sure this will take time) and be the person i know i want to be, can be, and expect others to be.

In honor of the month of Thanks i'm going to tell a few people a few things.

Dreytonius- Thank you for making me a better person and reminding me every single day why i love my life.
Roberto- thank you for making me feel beautiful and special every day.
Nana-  Thank you for being there for me no matter what… and sewing for me because i don't know how.  And teaching me what the meaning of 'taking care of someone you love' means.
Papa John- Thank you for teaching me that a sense of humor is a quality.  And teaching me that the measure of a man is where he stands during times of trial, not during comfort and convenience.
Seester-  thank you for reminding me that there are truly GOOD people in this world. that people do care and everyone should be given a chance.
Founder of the Nerd Herd- thank you for always being honest with me, and reminding me that i am human and will make mistakes, and i can move past them.  and also for reminding me why i will only have 1 child (:  
Golden Child- thank you for being solid as a rock.  for showing me how hard work pays off, how dedication makes you strong, and how you can do one million things in 24 hours.
My nieces and nephews- thank you for giving your parents grief and making me so proud.. but more so thank you for being such good kids, cousins, friends and family.  you guys are each so special and i'm so proud of every one of you.
My in-laws- thank you for helping me understand why it is you chose to marry my siblings… wait, i still don't understand… how about…. Thank you for teaching me how to love people like family.
My co-workers- thank you for teaching me patience with myself.  that i cannot do it all when i want.  thank you for believing in me and supporting me through school and everything else in my life- i could not ask for better people to surround myself with.Daniel Dean-  Thank you for showing so many people what it is like to truly accept people for what they are, and loving them no matter what.  For showing your children what it feels like to have your world revolve around them.
Brad-  Thank you for helping me realize you can be an inspiration to anyone, and you never know who that is, so try to inspire every person you meet.
My cousins, aunts and uncles- thank you for giving me some of the best memories i have in this life.
My grandparents-  thank you for teaching me what unconditional love is- quilting, yankees, and never missing a grandchild's 'special occassion' whatever it may be.
And for everyone mentioned, and not mentioned- thank you for being like underwear….
Some crawl up your butt..
Some snap under pressure…
Some don't have the strength to hold you up…
Some get a little twisted…
Some are your favorite…
Some are cheap…
And some actually do cover your butt when you need them.


love you all.  i'll leave you with this:

jami

the run-down

summer was pretty eventful for me this year. it was my last semester of school so i was crazy busy trying to get stuff done.. but we had a lot go down.

Besides me graduating and being done Jodi and the boys managed to cram as much as they could into the summer...

They did a Camp or Lesson in every

thing i think: Swimming Lessons in Fillmore for a week, Tennis, Golf Camp in Fillmore, Soccer Camp and Football.

They played on their little Baseball team, the Blaze, or as we recommended, the 'flamers.'

Drey made it to Shalom a lot, i honestly can't remember how many times he went up, but i even made it up once this year and it was fun. This is Drey and Keller in their matching camo hats Jodi got them, and the little red 4-wheeler we got running for the trip.

Drey and Porter went to a little 3rd grade prep school our friends daughters put together. they went twice a week and LOVED it. the helped them remember what they learned in 2nd grade, and teach them some things they'll learn in 3rd. This is them on their first day of 3rd grade.

Drey turned 8, holy freaking $%#* my child is 8!?! crazy how i can be turning 25, and he's turned 8!! He got a new swimming party with friends, cake and ice cream and marshmallow roasting and jodi's, and iPod for his birthday, i know i'm so stupid, but his broke and i was sick of him playing with my phone. he's actually been super responsible and taking good care of it, so heres hoping hes turned over a new leaf. he also got a super cool riding helmet from Nana that he wears when he rides the little red 4-wheeler. And probably his most favorite present came from a new friend of ours, Robbie.. his very own brand new camping tent. We even had to put it up in the living room for him to sleep in that night. This is drey and some of the boys on the Blaze at his swim party at the pool.

Drey roasting gigantic marshmallows at Jodi's.

Drey in his new tent.

the tent in the living room... sigh...

and last, but not least, i have come to the place i'd never thought i would. there is now another male in my life... Robbie. I don't do details, cause thats just no fun... but i'll say i'm hoping he plans on staying around awhile.

so there's a run-down.. my blog is now officially caught up... right??

And thats a wrap....

yes... this is my AWESOME graduation photo...

I'm finally done. ALL the way done. I finished nursing school. Seems like it took forever while i was going, but now that its over.. i keep wondering where the last 2 years went. I got done with school on a tuesday. worked the weekend, then went to vegas on the next monday. our school secretary took our transcripts up to DOPL and when they process those we get an 'Authorization To Test' a.k.a.- take my NCLEX. so i check my email every five minutes from monday on.... and as i'm driving home from vegas on thursday a super sweet and awesome highway patrolman pulls me over and gives me a speeding ticket. he was nice enough to take his sweet time too... 45 minutes. so while i'm waiting for my ticket i finally get my authorization to test email and can schedule my NCLEX. well, i had to wait until the 29th of August to take it in Utah, OR i could take it the next morning... in las vegas. So i turned around and headed back to vegas. studied up a bit, drove to the strip the next morning and took my test and headed home. i even made it with no speeding tickets this time. Sunday my results finally posted and i passed... that was a relief. So i'm officially an RN- yay me. and just a shade over a decade too... not too shabby.. the next monday was my cohorts pinning ceremony. i guess its a tradition thats been around forever- back when nurses wore white dresses and hats they would pin their hats when they were nurses, so it was cool to have one with all my classmates and teachers. my momma was my hot date to my pinning ceremony and it was fun to finally introduce her to all the people i've spent almost every day with for the last two years. i'm super proud of all of them, and even myself a little bit too. but now i'm done, i'm waiting for a job, and i was bored out of my mind.... until i decided i'm taking a break. so i don't get ready, wear a bra, or put make-up on right now. i just lounge around and watch American Pickers with Bella... oh, and apparently i'm trying to sew... but we'll see how that goes...

adventures of nursing school

Nursing school has taken me on so many adventures.... some i can share, others i can't, some i should never speak of again; or even think of.

With it being my last semester i'm pretty sure all nursing school does is try to take up every ounce of spare time you may possibly have. In one of my classes we are doing some presentations on World Health Organization Issues. My group signed up to present Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Now i always try to be creative with my hand outs and what not so i've got a pretty good one in my head, just waiting for all the pieces to come together. So i was working on the actual school work side yesterday and came across an awesome website. Its from the state of New York and i'm afraid its actually supposed to be educational, but i just found it damn funny. But maybe in all my nursing school adventures, i gained some warped sense of humor and its not supposed to be funny? (so if its not, this is my way of education all my hundreds of blog followers about STD prevention) bahahaha

So, here is the crowned jewel of STD prevention information that i found (i've highlighted some of my favorites for you):

Prevent the Spread of STDs

What are STDs?

STDs are diseases that are usually passed through sexual contact with an infected partner. STDs include many diseases, such as AIDS, chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital herpes, genital warts, and syphilis. STDs are widespread; more than 12 million people in the US are infected each year.

Why should I learn about STDs?

STDs are a danger to everyone who has sex, even ONCE. Unborn children are at a risk, too!

If left untreated, STDs can have serious side effects, including:
• • sterility (being unable to have a child)
• • brain damage
• • heart disease
• • birth defects
• • low birth rate
• • premature Birth
• • increased risk for some types of cancer
• • death

How are STDs spread?

STDs are spread through contact with:
• • infected body fluids, such as blood, vaginal secretions, or semen
• • infected skin or mucous membranes - for example, sores in the mouth

Activities that expose you to infected body fluids or skin include:
• • vaginal, anal, or oral sex WITHOUT proper use of a latex condom or other barrier methods. Anal sex is especially risky because it often causes bleeding.
• • sharing needles or syringes for drug use, ear piercing, tattooing, etc.
• • Having an STD may increase your risk of getting HIV. STDs can break down the body's most important defense - the skin and mucous membranes, causing sores and thus provide a way for HIV to enter the body.

Most activities don't spread STDs!

You cannot get an STD from everyday, nonsexual activities, such as:
• • giving blood
• • sitting next to an infected person
• • sitting on toilet seats
• • sharing eating utensils
• • touching doorknobs
• • using swimming pools

How can you avoid STDs?

• There are safe alternatives to vaginal, anal, or oral sex. For example:
• • Don't have sex. Abstinence is the only sure way to avoid getting an STD.
• • Masturbation. Masturbation with your partner (on unbroken skin), or alone,can provide sexual pleasure safely.
• • Massage. Caressing and stroking can express affection and give pleasure.
• • Kissing. This can be a safe way to be physically close, as long as both partners are free of cuts and sores in the mouth.
• • Fantasy. The brain is one of the most powerful sex organs. Use your imagination for satisfying sexual pleasure.

• If you have sex, have sex only with one partner who:
• • has no STD (monogamy)
• • has sex with you only (monogamy)

• If you are not in a monogamous relationship, be sure to:
• • Use barrier methods like latex condoms. Latex condoms are your best protection from STDs during intercourse. But remember, even condoms are not 100% effective.
• • Limit the number of partners you have. The more partners you have, the greater the risk of being exposed to an STD. Remember, you can't tell if someone has an STD just by looking at them.
• • Have regular physical exams. Ask you physician to test for STDs if you think you've been exposed. Regular tests help find STDs early, when treatment can be most effective.

Condoms help protect both partners from STDs and unwanted pregnancy.

To use a condom properly, you'll need:
• • A latex condom ("rubber"). The HIV virus and other STDs may pass through "natural" or "skin" condoms.
• • A water-based lubricant. This helps keep the condom from breaking. Never use products that contain oil or fat, like petroleum jelly or cooking oil. These products weaken latex and may cause the condom to break.
• • A new condom. Use one every time you have sex, even oral or anal. Discard any "new" condom that's damaged, sticky, or brittle.

To use condoms correctly:
• • Put the condom on BEFORE any sexual contact.
• • Leave a 1/2 inch space at the tip to collect semen. Cover the penis completely.
• • Smooth out any air bubbles to reduce stress on the condom, and to increase feeling. Apply spermicide to the outside of the condom.
• • Check the condom during sex to make sure it's unbroken and still on properly.
• • Withdraw slowly right after climax. Hold the condom by it's base so it doesn't slip off. Dispose of properly.

To help further reduce the risk of contracting an STD:

• • Don't inject drugs. Sharing needles or syringes can expose you to infected blood. Not injecting drugs is an essential part of protecting yourself from STDs.
• • Avoid alcohol and other drugs. They can make you more likely to take chances when having sex.
• • Don't douche. You may force germs farther into the vagina or alter the natural balance of vaginal fluids.

The symptoms of STDs may include:

• • sores or blisters on or around the sex organs or mouth
• • pain or burning during urination
• • discharge from the penis or vagina that smells or looks unusual
• • itching, swelling, or pain in or around the sex organs

Get tested right away if you think you have any symptoms, or think you've been exposed to an STD (even if have no symptoms, talk about your STD testing needs with your doctor during your health care visits). Remember, many STDs don't have any symptoms, especially in women.

Remember: If you have an STD, seek proper medical care immediately! Home remedies can make an accurate diagnosis difficult!

If you have an STD, be sure to:

• • Talk to all sex partner(s) who may have been exposed. Encourage them to get tested. Both partners need to be treated to avoid reinfection.
• • Avoid sexual intercourse until your physician says it's okay to resume so you don't get reinfected, or spread the disease to others.
• • Follow your treatment plan and finish all medications, even if you feel well. Follow up exams can make sure treatment was effective.
• • Get counseling if you're worried or upset about having an STD. Your physician or STD clinic can recommend a counselor.

What other types of birth control help protect against STDs?

Only latex condoms are considered effective protection against STDs. Birth control pills, diaphragms, sponges, and other contraceptives do not prevent STDs.

A lot of men carry condoms in their wallets. Is this a good idea?

No. Exposure to body heat, sunlight, and extreme cold can all damage condoms and make them more likely to break.

Once I've had an STD, can I get it again?

Yes. Sex without a condom can result in getting an STD, no matter what STD you've already had.

don't believe me?: http://www.nyc.gov/html/doh/html/std/std4.shtml

thank you- and come again soon for some more super educational information!! (:

bleh

Im almost done with school: 34 days, or 813 hours, or 48734 minutes... but who's counting? I can't wait to be done, but the crazy thing is... i'm going to miss it. Im going to miss my friends from school that i spend more time with than anyone. Watch out peeps- before you know it your life my be in my nurse hands soon (bwahahahahaha).. but really, im gonna miss school, just not all the school work.

I hate Father's day now. Sorry. I do. There are very, very few reasons i have to celebrate it. I miss my Papa John.

The 4th of July. It was always a Whicker thing. Lost Creek, Fillmore, Maple Grove, all places where we celebrated my grandpa Deans birthday. And every year (literally every year), he would reassure us all the fireworks were to celebrate his birth... i miss him too.

I sent my kiddo off camping with the sis, then he's off to Funmore for swimming lessons... ill see him in a week... i already miss the lil bug.

i miss being able to blog- i used to do it, but that was when i had more to life than nursing school...

and i miss more than anything...... ENERGY... my reserve tank is puttering on fumes here... but in good time... i sure hope it returns...

a long lost picture from maple grove i found.... awwww

perspective

i suck at blogging... but i totally blame nursing school...

and i also have no pictures.... but i totally blame nursing school...

So... to catch up on my 'super exciting, jealous of me totally' life...

Dreyton is getting ready to graduate from 2nd grade, tomorrow. that kind of freaks me out a little bit... no way i have a 3rd grader... no way... i'm only 24... crazy....

i'm in my last semester of nursing school... i'll be done the beginning of August, about 10 weeks, or 71 days, or 1709 hours... but who's counting.

this semester is by far the craziest as far as scheduling goes. i'm literally gone doing something school related or work related all but 4 days a month. i'm terrified i'm going to be depressed when i'm done with school... i won't know what to do with myself. everyone keeps mentioning i can start taking pictures again..... we'll have to see on that one.

a lot of things, experiences that have been occurring with me lately have me thinking though... about just how lucky i am. i have some pretty amazing family & friends that do some really incredible things. they always help remind me how supported i am, how lucky i am, and how ungrateful i can be. and with this semester... i've learned just how lucky i am to have my health. (however poor it may be- physically and mentally)..

we all know i hate exercise... and we all know i am semi-crazy... but i've seen just how bad a persons health and mind can get. i've seen how bad drugs can destroy someones entire life- including their kids' and families... it is so heartbreaking to watch. i've been 'fortunate' enough to go to some AA(alcoholics anonymous) and NA(narcotics anonymous) meetings FOR SCHOOL (my little facebook post landed me several messages of encouragement and support... and i can't thank you all enough to know if i really was in that situation i'd have all you backing me up). the last one i participated in sent me home in tears... it was insane. i've been close to people who have experienced this but being there hearing the stories of these people and their families just gets the perspective in your head, makes it real. i mean you hear about this all the time, but you never experience it... well at least I haven't. and i hope and pray i never do... i don't think i'm a strong enough person to endure that sort of thing... not even maybe.

so my rant... i guess its just may way to help me remember? maybe pass this info on to all my blogging friends? not sure...

i really don't like when people say, "someone else always has it worse." i don't think you should down play your situation at all... what i've learned over these few weeks is its not what your problems are, its how you react to them that is the difference. but thats just my opinion... and i'm pretty sure i'm going to work a little bit more on my reactions than my actual problems... thats the difference between me as a nursing student this semester... and the patients i care for... and its a damn fine line....

some lyrics from a new favorite song:

'When you're happy like a fool... let it take you over.

When everything is out... you gotta take it in'

i need this....

ok i really just want it.... but how cute is it seriously!? i'm not usually big into the purse/bag stuff... i just use whatever... but i really really want this to carry my camera in... i like it lots... i just can't decide what color i think i need the most...

Day of Love

for any that know me... you know i hate valentines... but this year i will be buying some Valentines.. just don't know who for.... yet.

My amazing friend Amanda that i go to nursing school with has a beautiful little girl named Ava. Ava was diagnosed with a childhood cancer of her kidneys and is undergoing chemotherapy to try and shrink the tumors enough to have surgery. This little girl is nothing short of a hero. She is the truest example of a hero. still smiling and enjoying her life through this difficult time. Her moms friend is donating 100% of her procedes to miss Ava from Feb 7th - 14th.

the link is here.

you need to have your order in by the 9th so she can get them all delicious and pretty for you though! the ordering information is on her blog.

you all know you're going to buy flowers and chocolates anyways... so you may as well spend your money on delicious cupcakes and know your money is going to an amazing cause!

thanks so much friends!

Livin the Dream!

mondays: class, work every other

tuesdays: homework, study, labs

wednesdays: testing, class, drey's baseball practice

thursdays: homework, study

fridays: clinicals

saturdays: work every other

sundays: work every other

and in the midst of this

try and squeeze time to help drey with his homework/reading, or play a game... which is rare.

get some sleep (lately i've had to use resources like Nyquil and Tylenol PM)

clean: we all know how this helps my sanity

study for my LPN exam

work on pictures (which i believe i am FINALLY caught up on... for now)

lately...

we celebrated Jana's Birthday... mourned the day we lost my Papa John two years ago & his birthday. got Jana a new dryer, tried to organize all of her food storage. put Christmas away. Tried to spend time with the bug. spent WAY too much time coupon shopping.

BUT....

all of this going on doesn't even phase me anymore... it is my life.. and most importantly, it makes me realize i am ALIVE, and so lucky to be doing all of it.

recently a good friend of mine got some devastating news about her 3 year old daughter... it is such a frustrating thing to see someone experience this and know there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it for them... all you can do is try to help. and still.. it doesn't even come close to enough.

i love this girl.. i know she is an awesome mother and person.. so i'm trying my hardest to make this situation a little bit easier for her.

but the good thing is.... my coupon shopping; its finally going to good use: her little family.

so now when i feel overwhelmed, or like i'm going to scream with frustration, i'm really gonna try to step back and realize whats important. what matters.

and honestly... thats some damn good motivation.