i misunderstood this at first... thinking he wanted a reward for being good at wrestling... but after being reinformed i realized my babe was being honest with good ol' saint nick about giving a kid a bloody nose during one of his wrestling matches, and he wasn't sure if it would count as being bad or not, so he wondered if he'd still get anything for christmas....

how cute is that??

love this kid.

merry christmas friends.

Merry Christmas Friends

Because i'm late, lazy and cheap, i didn't mail out as many cards as i wanted to. so i'm posting them for you all to see.

But really, i hope you all have wonderful & happy holidays this year. i'm sure any of you who read this are more important to me than you realize. i am terrible at showing, but i'm working on it, just how much i appreciate all that i have.

i have an awesome kid that i love tons and work my tail off for. drey keeps me going. that boy is my life, don't know what i'd be doing with out that handsome little bugger.

My amazing family, i love them all so much. they do more for me than they can imagine and i'm so grateful for everyone of them. (Especially my two naughty 2 year olds that give their mom and dad grief... he he he). my friends are the best. my co-workers are pretty much my life savers. my school friends have become like my second family to me with all the time we spend together. i could go on for days about each person that pops into my head, but we all know how pressed for time i am ;)

anyways.. i don't want to get to sappy on you all, because that would give everyone the impression i myself, am sappy. love you all.

merry christmas!!

jami & drey

whats important

i just love to hate this time of year.

nothing like happiness, joy, and bliss surrounding you to remind you how ungrateful you are.

i have been tested as a parent recently... this is nothing new, but its taken on a whole new level for me since Thanksgiving.

i can't even imagine how many times i fought with my parents thinking, ok KNOWING, that i was always right... but i can remember, and VERY specifically the few times i heard these words come from John or Jana;

"i'm so disappointed in you."

and it hurts. it hurt bad to know you've caused that.

Enter my 7 year old.

Drey is a great kid. i love him more than i can even describe. but recently, he has acquired traits that i am not fond of. he's done things that he shouldn't, and hurt some other people.

the way that makes you feel as a mother and person is indescribable.

knowing someone you have taught better and raised, has hurt someone else hurts me more than i can express.

its a hard lesson, very hard, for a 7 year old to wrap his head around, but hopefully we can learn it together.

its the time of year John got really bad, and left us missing him. its hard to remember how amazing my dad was before he was sick, but he was. seriously... he was THE BEST.

so i'm going to try hard to remember how lucky i am to have such an awesome boy, greatest family and friends and co-workers, my health, and the opportunity to go to school to learn how to help others.

so luckily... its a break for me until January. I will not even look at a nursing book, or online quiz until Jan 10th and focus on whats important.

my babe.

you gotta be kiddin me...

this wasn't the only play i said that either... but.... a wins a win. i'll take it. and i think it was the best birthday present for my brother. go utes!

(oh.. and i better not steal: the pic is from the SL Trib)

Top 10 on why to be a nurse?

Found this and thought it was funny....

10) Pay is better than McDonald's: though the hours are not.

9) Comfy shoes & Uniforms.

8) Its better to give than to receive... needles.

7) Being able to reassure people that all bleeding stops.... eventually.

6) Opportunity to be exposed to rare, exotic, and exciting diseases.

5) Interesting Aroma's.

4) Admittedly... its alot easier than med school.

3) Celebrating holidays with all your friends... at work.

2) To see just how big you can stretch your bladder and how long you can hold it.

1) Comfort in knowing people usually survive... no matter what you do to them.

i love my child....

this conversation took place between Drey and myself last night... after i decided to try and remove a mole off of my face (didn't work so well by the way.)

Drey: "whats on your face?'

me: "a new tattoo."

Drey: "of BATMAN!?!?!"

me: "ya..."

drey looked a little closer at my face

Drey: "No its not! its a bandaid!!"

me: "well aren't you master of the obvious."

Drey: "i don't even know what that means!"

me: "it means you're master of the obvious."

Drey: "I KNOW!"

me: "then why did you say you don't know what it means?"

Drey: "Cause i was seeing if you knew!"

so he turned to walk away... and walked right into the door.

it was classic.

love this kid.

english sucks. i like nursing school though.

the start of this semester has been interesting to say the least. i'm in english 2010, and anyone that knows me, knows how bad i loathe typing papers. i can talk for days on end if i needed to, but to put my thoughts into sentences that make sense is difficult and frustrating for me.
so here i sit, starting my personal essay about a word of our choice that is due next week.
as of a few hours ago, i still hadn't decided what my 'word' was going to be.
i've been thinking for weeks what would be easy for me to talk about. and what i could use that i could later just add research to so i could use it for my research paper.

alzheimer's.

it always comes to mind. papa john can always help me in so many aspects of my life.

so as i got to typing this damn paper it started coming easier and easier, but the more i typed the more one word kept popping up on the screen.

Birthdays

for those of you who knew john well, you might have got a dozen roses on your birthday once too. my family always did. but it was my birthday (25th remember) a few weeks ago, and i missed my roses. I did find a box will all the little cards that said, 'Love John' on them that always came with the roses though. it was bittersweet.
john was also diagnosed with Alzheimer's right around Drey's birthday. all the repressed memories from the whole slew of events in my life gradually come back, but i do remember every single thing papa john said to me the day he met drey.
papa john also died the day after my moms birthday. i know he knew. he wasn't 'there' but i know he knew to wait. jarret reminded him of the day, just to be sure.

if i were to type a paper on papa john, it would never stop. there are always so many things that i remember, so many things he did, so many ways he helped so many people.
it sucks.
i'm sorry.
but i think its unfair.
i hate that my dad was so amazing, and his time here was so short.
maybe... if it turns out decent. i'll share some of my birthday paper with you.

2nd grade

My bug is in 2nd grade... I couldn't be more excited for him. He's pretty stoked too. I'm not sure if its solely because he finally got to wear his new kicks he got for his birthday or his new pair of "super dark" levis. FYI: Drey LOVES levis, especially dark ones. The kid hates shorts for the most part. He tells me this is because he has hair on his legs and the girls will think its gross..... (enter eye roll here)

But i think he secretly likes school... or at least I hope so. I really want him to love school and have motivation to learn and succeed, but I want it to be fun for him too. Which im sure this year will be for a few reasons....

#1: He has an awesome teacher that is way into sports. She's newer and still has that excitement/patience about her that the kids just love.

#2: For the first time since pre-school Drey and Porter are going to be in the same class... The seester and I aren't exactly sure how this is gonna play out, particularly because of......

#3: The day we went to meet their teacher we noticed Drey's desk is right next to a certain little lady that he has a crush on, and it just so happens that this certain little lady has a crush on Porter.... lets just say this love triangle got a little carried away when Drey got a touch of jealousy last year... yeah, he totally stole Porter's love notes from this little lady. The funny part is Porter could care less... he's more concerned with his friends and who's playing where after school.

I love these two. They are such good kids, and two polar opposites. Don't know when they decided to grow up so fast on me, but I love it. I love that they're totally my buddies and can tell me the funny things that pop into their mind. I do not, however, love them trying to tell me how to play lego batman.... So now that school is back in session I can play while they're gone all day....

karma....

Over the past years, all 24.5 of them, of my life.. my siblings have given me my fair share of.. how do you say it... 'grief'.. for my insane amount of shortcomings and screw-ups... and im not denying the amount of those at all..
But Jarret, although he is extremely handsome, smart, resourceful, honest, funny, and reliable; can be some what of a meanie... For years i was nicknamed 'stretch' (well not was, because to this day he still calls me that), after the toy stretch armstrong. Jarret loved to make fun of my awkward long legs. he also used to ask me if my legs whistled in the wind. he also loves to bring up the fact that its taking me just a shade over a decade to graduate from college... the fact that i am in fact the worst when it comes to driving and taking care of my vehicles... the list could go on and on and on...

And my sister... She has been nothing but good to me for as long as i can remember... i really have nothing against her besides the fact she did her share of hell-raisin' and never got in trouble for it. its arguable that she was grandpa deans favorite.. and she also got an angel of a first born, Porter... a baby that was good as gold, probably the only reason i made i through two kids all those years.. so lets just say she needs a little Karma just 'cause...

So... when my first niece, Miss Abigail (who from the age of 2 was known as my Frenemy) came along, i had one goal in mind.. 'how can i get jarret back?'
well, much to my dismay, my frenemy is much too smart. she knows when im trying to get her to do something naughty and is quite apt to do exactly the opposite... don't get me wrong, im not disappointed, i love this little girl.. but she has her own agendas when it comes to her father, so she has no interest in mine... and he cant do much about it because, she is in fact, a girl... she knows what she can get away with.. and i cant forget to mention that i truly hope my frenemy has the exact same voice she does now, clear until she is 18 years old... but worry not.. my trusty sister in law provided me with another opportunity...
which brings us along to Miss Alli (formerly known as Pineapple Hair, she's outgrown that crazy hair do and has a little mullet/lopsided piggies depending on the day hair do, which is much harder to nickname). im starting to think this one may be come to known as Jami Jr. (:
miss Alli, is stubborn, moody, never listens, always gets what she wants, blond haired blue eyed, mischievous, and busy! like her sister, she likes to pick and choose what day she is my friend, but lucky for me she can be bribed... candy can get miss alli to do about whatever i want her to. (enter evil tee hee hee) she is young this one... but she shows much promise to fulfill all my devious plans to drive my brother insane....



and last but not least, Red. I don't even have to TRY with this one... he already confirms whenever asked who his favorite is, ME! yeah.. thats right.. Jami... this one doesn't even have to try... hes the most polite, and sweet lil' one around.. but don't let his please and thank-you's fool you.. he is NAUGHTY... he karate kicks your legs, drop kicks balls in the house, yells when he wants something, cries when hes not gettin his way, pee's only outside if its convenient for him, fights like hes one of the big boys and give his mom hell... and i LOVE him... he of course is nothing but an Angel for me... but when his mom is around... he makes me so proud....
now, don't get me wrong there is an agenda for ALL of my siblings with ALL of my nieces and nephews... and im sure karma will come right back at me... but lucky for me Drey already does that on his own, he doesn't need much help...

ok, i guess i can't forget to say how much i really do appreciate all my siblings... they all literally helped raise me to be my awesome self so i guess i'd better give credit where its due....

i love them and appreciate them more than they know... they have helped me through everything to get where i want to be.

a few years in the making....

it took me a few years... but i finally got it. i finally got my lightning picture.. and now that ive actually been able to do it.. i know how to make them better... now all i need is another opportunity....

Drey's New Do...

With all the soccer action and me talking about how cute David Beckham is... Drey decided he could cut his hair as long as it was cool like David Beckham... sweet!!!! And just in time for swimming lessons... How's it look?

thoughts....

its been forever since ive posted anything really... but i have alot on my mind... alot has been going on and i just need to vent...

This weekend is memorial day... this holiday never really had alot of meaning to me, just a time to get outside and see the fam. Last year for memorial day was the first time i got to see john's head stone... these are the pics from last year.

its been weird with him being buried in Fillmore... i try to stop every time i go down or am passing by... but its never easy. I used to love to go to Fillmore to see my grandparents and cousins, and we never had a trip when John didnt try to get me to win 'first to see Fillmore'... but now its just got a different feel... every time i go i just think of my papa john and how badly i want a hug from him... it makes me feel very lucky to have known him and have him as my dad, cause trust me.. some of you arent near as lucky as i was, your dads are great but mine was the best... which makes me realize the kind of mother i want to be. what kind of impression i want to leave on my son... and people.

Nursing school is kicking my ass... this is not surprising, but its made me think a lot of papa john. to learn how the littlest things lead him down the road he ended up on. to learn how strokes are caused, the effects of Alzheimer's on a person and their families and all the other signs they say to watch for that i saw in my dad for years. i hope that someday this makes me a better nurse by having watched papa john endure all he did, but it also makes me so bitter... john was the best. he always will be. i have two amazing brothers, an incredible sister and a mother that no one could even compare too... and i fully blame john for each of them being so great. my family is my rock. without them i know i wouldnt be able to make it through this life... drey is my direction. i love that boy more than anything. he's who i live for and what im getting my ass kicked in school for.

i love you all.

jami

love this boy....

plus i think he's pretty dang cute.... dont know what i'd do without him...

mona coach pitch

i havent been been a very good blogger lately... so i figured the boys playin coach pitch was something to blog about... we didnt really wanna do T-ball again andJarret is the prez and coaches in the mona coach pitch league so we decided to sign Drey & Porter & their buddy Grant up to go play with Coleman... And as evidenced by the pictures i took... i actually go to Mona once a week (: thanks brother for all you do.

porter beckdreyton j

nerd alert

notice our right handed coach pitching left handed... he suffers from a severe case of pussitis.... (:

A shirt?! REALLY!?!?

I spent this friday on one of my clinicals. We were assigned to go to The Courtyard at Jamestown. Its an assisted living facility. So not sick patients, just ones that require a little help. So when we arrive they need four of us to go the Enhanced Care wing..... Of course i get nominated. At first i stressed, but then they told us it was the Alzheimer's residents. So i was like, Ok, i know this, no big..... or so i thought.

I spent the morning getting my residents up and dressed and showered. . . Some of them had their little apartments decorated with pictures and shadow boxes at their doors, letters and pictures from grandkids and just little knick knacks here and there to help ya figure out what they were like years ago. So the day was going well so far... all the residents meet out in the little common area and have breakfast and do activities and they were just too fun. It was awesome to just spend time talking to them and looking at a book they've already shown you twice, introducing myself a few times, but have almost everyone of them tell me they loved me... So i was doin good. i was proud of myself for handling it that well... Then one of the residents came out, he had apparently stayed up late so they didn't wake him until like 11.. He was wearing a pair of white sneakers, some slick pants, and a striped polo shirt; just like the one that john always used to wear...

REALLY!?!?!?! are you kidding me?...

i mean, it shouldn't have been a big deal, but it was. a thousand emotions ran through my brain the rest of the day... Guilt for the days i was impatient. Gratitude for the fact we were able to keep john home. Sad for the residents who didn't have family to come see them... it was just crazy... luckily my shift ended early... so i got in my car and just cried... hadn't done that for awhile... but it was so strange. I thought about papa john most of the day... how funny he was clear up until the end. . . how lucky my siblings and i were to have him as our dad... he was amazing.

so i don't know why i needed to post this, probably didn't, but i just wanted to make sure everyone knows to cherish what they have... you truly never know.

jana might kill me for the picture, but thats the dang shirt.....