english sucks. i like nursing school though.

the start of this semester has been interesting to say the least. i'm in english 2010, and anyone that knows me, knows how bad i loathe typing papers. i can talk for days on end if i needed to, but to put my thoughts into sentences that make sense is difficult and frustrating for me.
so here i sit, starting my personal essay about a word of our choice that is due next week.
as of a few hours ago, i still hadn't decided what my 'word' was going to be.
i've been thinking for weeks what would be easy for me to talk about. and what i could use that i could later just add research to so i could use it for my research paper.

alzheimer's.

it always comes to mind. papa john can always help me in so many aspects of my life.

so as i got to typing this damn paper it started coming easier and easier, but the more i typed the more one word kept popping up on the screen.

Birthdays

for those of you who knew john well, you might have got a dozen roses on your birthday once too. my family always did. but it was my birthday (25th remember) a few weeks ago, and i missed my roses. I did find a box will all the little cards that said, 'Love John' on them that always came with the roses though. it was bittersweet.
john was also diagnosed with Alzheimer's right around Drey's birthday. all the repressed memories from the whole slew of events in my life gradually come back, but i do remember every single thing papa john said to me the day he met drey.
papa john also died the day after my moms birthday. i know he knew. he wasn't 'there' but i know he knew to wait. jarret reminded him of the day, just to be sure.

if i were to type a paper on papa john, it would never stop. there are always so many things that i remember, so many things he did, so many ways he helped so many people.
it sucks.
i'm sorry.
but i think its unfair.
i hate that my dad was so amazing, and his time here was so short.
maybe... if it turns out decent. i'll share some of my birthday paper with you.